


Cheese Cryptid

by Nightmare_Fig



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Cheese, Dave | Technoblade-centric, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, Light Angst, Mild Language, Social Anxiety, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, like only a bit tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:54:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27580108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightmare_Fig/pseuds/Nightmare_Fig
Summary: why did i make this i don't even knowor:American Cheese Cryptid in Dream smp server causes chaos
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 101





	Cheese Cryptid

Technoblade spawned inside the server, slightly nauseous and disoriented, but nothing he can't handle. He appears to be trapped inside some sort of box. He shrugs off the rest of the nausea and walks around the inside of the box, eventually coming to a small hole. Big enough to hold a player but small enough that it won't be a comfortable fit.

Technoblade eventually gets through with a bit of a hassle, and pops his head through an opening. He searches his surroundings and sees nobody, no one around. He hums to himself and pulls himself out of the hole to stand properly, brushing off whatever rubble was on his gown. He starts walking around the forest, noticing the small details, the movement of a bush followed by a small critter popping out. The chirp of a bird, singing to its flock.

It was peaceful.

Technoblade finally came across a clearing, seeing buildings in the distance. There were people walking to and fro, wait…

_There were people…_

"Fuck…"

He was never very good at social interaction. He was a warrior, a king, with one look could send entire armies cowering in fear. So in the end, he never had to socialize much. Only cut down his enemies. Kill or be killed, that kind of thing.

He tried to walk more within the shadows, staying hidden. He was able to escape the masses of people (even if it was only two or three) and walk along a wooden path, admiring some of the buildings.

He was so distracted by his surroundings that he didn't realize the footsteps until it was too late.

"Technoblade?"

_shit_

The man mentioned heard the voice behind him, and spun around on his heel to see who it was. And the voice belonged to none other than the most social person ever, Badboyhalo.

Was he going to fight him? Well he didn't have any armor or anything of use, so it would be a losing battle. His heartbeat quickened, increasing his breathing slightly.

_Fuck, he was panicking._

Technoblade quickly checked his inventory, seeing an entire stack of...something. It didn't have a name but whatever it was he brought it out, the item appears in his hand and it…

it was cheese.

Flat squares of American cheese to be exact. He doesn't quite know how it got there, but he is going to make the most of it. But how is he going to do anything with cheese?

And then, an idea popped in his head.

Taking a deep breath, he walks towards Bad and stands in front of him. He peels off a piece of cheese and with a slightly shaking hand, places the cheese on his face. Technoblade takes a step back, turns back around, and walks away on slightly weak legs. Once out of sight and in a more secluded area, he collapses onto his knees and lays his back against whatever building it is. He takes deep shaking breaths until his breathing was even, trying to calm his fast heartbeat.

//

Bad didn't know what to think.

All he was doing was walking around to talk to some friends and maybe be friendly with some enemies. And then he saw Technoblade, Technoblade seemed to be looking around.

"Technoblade?" Bad called out.

Technoblade spun around, his gown trailing behind. He had a straight face, no emotion shining through. There was an awkward silence between them, until Technoblade pulls something out of his inventory.

Bad made note of where his weapons were and looked at Technoblade with a determined expression. He walked closer, only a few feet in-between them. Then Technoblade placed whatever it was, gently on his forehead and nose.

_What the muffin_

And then he just walked away.

Bad peeled off whatever it was and recognized it as American cheese squares. How did he get cheese squares in here?

"I'm going to ask Skeppy about this…"

//

And from there the rumor spread.

Technoblade, the cheese cryptid.

Everyone eventually got a visit from him, each in complete silence, ending with a cheese on their faces.

//

Technoblade had gotten practically everyone now, but right now he is taking down one of the few that are missing, Jshlatt.

Technoblade kicked down the door of the white house, Jshlatt jumped at the sudden noise targeting where it came from and made eye contact with Technoblade.

"Hey, Technoblade?" Jshlatt asked, receiving silence as a response.

Technoblade walked slowly over to Jshlatt, getting a single piece of cheese out of his inventory. He holds said piece of cheese, getting an exact distance away from the goat man. Technoblade places the cheese on his face, then leaves immediately going through the same doors he kicked down.

//

Eventually everyone received a piece of cheese to the face.

**Author's Note:**

> haha...
> 
> why...?


End file.
